Author Topic: The God of Banished  (Read 1984 times)

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Offline Boris_amj

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The God of Banished
« on: May 28, 2014, 02:19:47 AM »
- Hello, old man. I haven't seen you before around these parts.

- Yes, well, I've been busy. Because, you see,

   I am The God Of Banished !!!
   
- Aha.

- [taken aback] Did you hear what I said?  I am The God Of Banished !!!.

- Yeah, I heard you. Is that important ?

- Why, yes. I mean, don't you people know of me ?

- Er, not really, sorry. But I can tell the others, if you like. Do you have a name? GoB, perhaps ?

- Eh? No! Actually, IRL my name is RNG. As in Romeo Norway Golf.

- That's a funny name. I bet you had it pretty rough at school, huh ? Didn't your parents know good names like Nmid or Hell ?

- RNG are just my initials.

- So, what do Gods do then ?

- Like I said, I am The God Of Banished !!! I determine the position of the rivers, the valleys and the mountains. I control the yield of the crops, the accidental deaths, the timing of disasters ...

- Gosh, I wish I could speak in colour too. That's a pretty tight schedule you got there. Do you get the time to idle in the forests, sit by the river, contemplate nature ?

- Well, no. That's not very godly, I don't think. I am too busy. All those random events don't happen by chance, you know.

- So, can you extend the life of people, increase food production, make tools last longer ?

- Sorry, no.

- Um. Not much point in worshipping you, then. Anyway, must dash. Food is waiting at home, with my lovely wife and two children. Tara.

The God of Banished watches Lou stroll happily away towards the village.
In an impulsive move, he raises his hand to have the unbeliever crushed by a stone.
But he lowers it again disgusted at himself.
He turns to his favourite passtime: making deer walk under water.

Offline Demonocracy

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Re: The God of Banished
« Reply #1 on: May 28, 2014, 02:30:11 AM »
Ha!  Awesome! 

I always knew the RNG was the God of Banished.  You've only confirmed what we've all suspected.  : )